Sunday, 11 June 2017

War writing

L.I- To hook the reader in by show not tell.
To create a narrative based on a picture.
The dust and dirt are making my eyes scratch. I want to cry but I can’t. Noise surrounds me and I don’t know where to look. Destruction is all around me. People and places are in ruins, it’s like a natural disaster but there is nothing natural about this bloodshed. How can people do this to each other? How can they do this to their country? So many questions envelope my mind but no answers come to comfort me.
“BOOM” another huge blast explodes. I have to get out of here. I have to protect these innocent people by putting my life on the line. I see a child crying down a side street. I dart towards her imagining this was my own child. I will do anything to save her and protect her from these animals. “Braap, Braap” thousands of gunshots shroud the sky above as I final make it to my target, the girl. She is in meltdown, this whole city is in meltdown. I must save her. This is my destiny.
Success Criteria:

  1. Use awesome descriptive words (adjectives)- Jordan and Lachlan
  2. Impact- short sentences. (Lachlan)
  3. Language features- similes, onomatopoeia, metaphor etc.
  4. Hook the reader in (make it exciting, show not tell) Dante

Sunday, 14 May 2017

Mythical Creature Writing

Mythical Creatures writing by Slidely Slideshow

You can choose one of the mythical creatures you have seen in the above video. You are trying to describe the creature for the reader using the language features we uncovered last week. Keep the reader guessing so don't give away what creature you have chosen too soon. See if your reader can guess the creature you have chosen without you telling them what it is.

Success criteria
- show not tell (keep the reader guessing)
- language features
- descriptive language

Tuesday, 2 May 2017

Dream from Vaya on Vimeo.

This is a video about "Dreams". I have used this video as the inspiration for my writing below. Read my writing and try and pick out some things that you like in my work and use these ideas in your own writing. Can you guess which part of the video I used for my inspiration?

I can feel the raw power of this beast between my fingers. I don’t want to tame it.  I want to unleash all its mighty horsepower right here, right now. The roar of the engine excites me and makes me push the accelerator down even harder. The wheels screech and slide on the glittering sand and I feel as out of control as a rodeo horse.  This is extreme. This is dangerous, but I love it. I brace myself for the next corner. Here it comes. I slam the brakes on so I can slide sideways across the desert floor. There is nothing around except for me and the wild stallion that I am riding.
I am racing further and further into the unknown and I have never felt so free.  I never knew life could be like this. Dust sprays up behind me and blooms into the sky creating powder clouds that I can see disappearing gently in my rear view mirror.Up ahead of me I can see a jump. I put my foot to the floor to gain maximum power. My knuckles turn white as I grip the steering wheel with nervous excitement. Suddenly I am in the air. I am flying.

Co-constructed Success Criteria
  1. Show not tell. Keep the reader guessing.
  2. Hook the reader in. Make the audience want to read on.
  3. Use language features to describe.
  4. Vary the length of my sentences- long sentences to give information and to describe, Short sentences for impact (give the reader a punch)

Language features we can use-
  • Personification- make a non human object come to life (give human qualities)
  • Similes- compare using like or as- Example: "out of control as a rodeo horse"
  • Metaphor- compare without using like or as. Example: snowy clouds.
  • Onomatopoeia- sounds like the noise it makes. Example- screech, boom, crash.
  • Hyperbole- To exaggerate. To make things sound bigger or better than they are. Example- I was travelling a million miles an hour.